******WARNING subject matter may get a little pathetic read on at your own risk********
This year marks ten years of marriage to Anne and I somewhat feel that we are just starting our life together. I know that in real time this could seem like a long (some would say very, very long) time but when I look back, calculated by good memories I feel that the time is flying by. We have lived in 4 states, 12 locations and owned 5 businesses. We have 3 kids and they are growing up like weeds. I remember the first few months with Jackson and now he is almost 8 and I now I have a Josh and Lexi.
A lot of my daily life seems to get me closer to "much to do about nothing" and only a small part really matters. I get to play catch with Jackson as dinner is being made and I spend twice that amount of time driving just to work. Josh and Lexi love baths, books and songs and that only last 10-20 minutes a day. I might get to sit and look at my wife with the ciaos gone to bed for just a few minutes and then the day has really gone to night. I get my hugs and kisses from everyone as I am running out the door in the morning. I get a few calls during the day to say "hello" but seriously I spend 90% of my time doing things that are not apart of the memories that I cherish and hold near to my heart. Am I the only one that feels that this rat race is pushing us down a path we feel is taking us further away from our dreams and joys and closer to a black whole that will give nothing in the end. I am not sure I am want to run in that race, maybe a DNF (Did not finish) due to wanting to go to the park for lunch all day long is a better way. Maybe even throwing down a DNS (Did not start) would allow me to go and get lost at Lake Powell for weeks at a time. Want to talk about opening up the fire hose on the memory bank go to where phones, cars and watches mean nothing and see what you can do on a daily basis with three kids and a wife that have no real off button except for when sleeping. I love lake Powell and only find myself with my family their 5-10 days out of the whole year. I wish I could pull back just a little more time every day and do something that will really matter. The joy of a big sale just does not stand up to the look on my kids faces when I tell them we have enough time to go and get ice cream tonight. I feel that after 10 years I am just starting to get what this life is really about and trying to steal time back to do what matters most. If asked what I would consider one of my greatest accomplishments in life would be I would have to say this. "I hope that when my kids are grown they look back and can see Dad in the picture of their funnest memories. I hope that I can be that guy." And I make you this promise today, I will continue to fight for it because it's worth it to me!
A little deeper into Tyler's mind than most would care to dive!!!!!
BOOOO YAAAAAA
Love you Anne,
T
Tyler,
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I know Boone feels exactly like you do. Take comfort in the fact that you feel the way you do, because there are many MANY fathers out there who spend way less time with their kids and don't give it a second thought. Doing the best you can do is enough -- your kids will know what a great dad they have.
Yea, balance is tough. You want to provide well for your family financially, but you don't want to miss all the great moments that they are afforded due to what you have provided. Continue to assess your life and align your time with your values. Take baby steps. Soon enough you will carve out the time that feels right. I wish you much luck. Good job looking inside of yourself for what completes you.
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